On the Theater

"Look at Andrew Lloyd Webber! He's like a little troll 'Oh my! Someone let me out from under my bridge and into the sunlight! How vunderful!'"

What new people bring to our table...

"Why can't people just do things without thinking about having other people's babies?!?!"

Truer words...

"You seem like the kinda girl who needs to be argued with from time to time."

Adventures in Babysitting

Regarding our puppet show:
Young Child: " USE YOUR IMAGINATION! GOSH!
Me: Okay! Okay! Geez...So the mommy says to the daddy...
Young Child: NO! That's not what's going on! Do it like this...

Its official. Contrary to popular belief, children killed my imagination, not adulthood.

You know it's been a long day when...

"What is going on? Are you eating butter?!?! GO TO BED!"

Analyze This

"Yeah, we definitely don't have boyfriends. We're really just crazy."

That's gonna leave a mark

In response to the suggestion that a certain fellow wants to sleep with her...

"Nuh uh! (points suggestively) It's like a bear trap, SNAP!"

Packin Heat

" I'm scared of rifles, I really just want to shoot a hand gun."
"Really? I'd rather do the rifle but maybe that's just because that's what my grandpa keeps by the front door?"

Good Luck Chuck

"God help our future husbands...really, God help them."

A New Crowd

Kanye's "Stronger" trickles through car radio...
"Give me this, a drink, a dimly lit area and I'm set."
"I wish there were clubs where I could just dance and wouldn't have to worry about Sketchy Lurking Guy...!"
"Soo... lesbian bars from now on?"

A little help from my friends

"I am clearly so attention hungry from this relationship turmoil, that any notice any guy pays me has me like a starry-eyed puppy dog. It's pathetic."
"Do you want my brother to call you?"

History

"You know how some people can just make out with anyone? I mean, I know, I've made out with some ugly guys in my life...like all my boyfriends."

As close to lesbianism as this apartment gets

"I love that he's a man! Ya know? I mean, after dating (wo)men so many times in the past few years, I have to say I LOVE being straight again!!!"

Stream of...somethin'

After looking at my roommate on the other side of the couch and seeing her coiled iPod charger on her head...

"I like the headband thing going on right now."
"Actually, I just looked at it and thought, 'This looks like something angels would wear.' And then I put it on."

I love her.

Brilliance

5:30am - Sitting on the couch, blogging about our evening....

"Perchance we should sleep?"
"Blog it."

I'm Doing You a Favor

Excessively nice human being of the male variety approaches the two of us during after hours at cheesy bar full of 80's music that we happen to adore...

"I'm a nice guy you know? I open doors, I open every door...car doors, real doors..."
"Hey! Let me do you favor....best f*-ing advice I'll ever give you. Open doors but don't open every door that is known to man!!"
"Awww, come on, I'm a nice guy, I have to, I can't not open doors..." ::doe eyes and wide smile::
"Sure - first, second date whatever. Open all the goddamn doors you want. But after that let me open my own goddamn door alright. Best f*-ing advice you'll ever get. I just saved your life"

I just saved his life.

We Have Film Degrees

On finding the ending to a movie distinctly disappointing when the guy and girl do not end up together...

"WHAT?! That's it?"
"This movie is obviously foreign!"

Luck.

"I really can't believe this worked out - who would have thought?"
"He was dressed well and seemed very persistent...I mean maybe I need a one-nighter myself!"
"That was your criteria for letting a stranger into my bed?!?!"
"Ohhhhhh god you're right, letsneverdothatagain."