Misery.

Not to keep harping on this, but is this what a happy, satisfied couple looks like? I think not.

Let's try not to choke on all of the proof that this adds to the pudding.

Fast Learner

"I think I'm stress eating."
"With a popsicle?!?!"
"...Um...well...I was thinking of maybe making some cookies just to eat the dough...?"
"Yes! That's the spirit!"

No Nookie

"You say...Nookie! No nookie!"
"I have a feeling he can get it anywhere he wants..."
"Well that is your job to convince him that he's ugly and he can't!!"

The Usual Strategy

(Regarding boy troubles)
"What do I do Lindsay??"
"Well....I think we should just go with the usual strategy...
(Starts writhing and groaning)
'Ughhhhh, gaahhhh I'm dying, must come help me!'"

Our greatest dream...

While watching the Academy Awards...

"Does James McAvoy's wife have a black eye?!?!"
"Maybe it's a loveless marriage filled with hate and violence!"
"TO JAMES MCAVOY BEING MISERABLE!"

Later that night...
"His wife looks old!"
"Yeah! Decrepit. It was probably a pity marriage."

Does it Matter?

While overhearing an adorable YouTube video of a kid singing The Beatles...

-That is so adorable!
-I know! It's this little Asian boy with a guitar...or maybe a girl?

Eat your heart out, Tony Curtis!

Via the ever-present #107 conference text...

-I am so good at winning!
-You are Spartacus.
-When's the wedding?

Babies or Coffee?

"I think I just want to be pregnant so I have an excuse to be fat. (sniffs the creamer) Yeck! This is wrong! You are wrong, label! I trusted you! You're supposed to still be fine!"
"Um, I mean, if we can't even handle coffee accoutrements we should probably rethink the whole being responsible for another life thing. Let's talk to Dr. Drew about it."

Atonement.

"I like how it takes all three of us to form one semi-smooth operator."

"I've just got to say- drunk+James McAvoy= GREAT DREAMS."

Later that night...

-He's married.

-WHO?!

-James McAvoy.

-NO.

-Yeah. For a year now.

-Ugh, how old is he?

-Twenty-eight? Maybe twenty-nine.

-Aw, what a good age to have been married for a year.

-You know what? I'm sure he's miserable.

-Yeah, you're probably right.

-TO JAMES McAVOY BEING MISERABLE!

Valentine's Day

"If girls' night is still on I might join you."
"Oh yeah, no plans with the boy?"
"Nope. He's radioactive."
No, really. He is.
:)


Later that night, via text...
"Hey lady, what are you up to?"
"I'm drunk-watching Becoming Jane. Hehe."
"Oh honey! I'll be home in just a bit."
"No worriesss...."

New Headshots

"Hey, (insert actor friend's name here) has new headshots."
"Lemme see."
"Good, right?"
"Wait...that's him?"
"Uh, yeah. Same guy you see all the time."
"Really? It doesn't look like him."
"Oh...well that's him. That's what he looks like...."
"Okay. Huh. Well,to be fair I've only seen him when we're out, in dim lighting."
"Not as good or better in full light?"
"Yeah...not as good. Well I guess no lights on in the bedroom for us!"

We Love Old Men

"You know how much you love Dr. Drew and John Edwards?? That's how much I love Striker."
"Combined? Is that even possible??"

A Thought?

" I think we should embark on a slutty phase."
"Fantastic, how do we do that?"

Later that night...
"That's how I'll do it! I'll just get boys to cry in front of me and then I'll be like 'Don't worry I'll sleep with you, does that make you feel better?"

Here we go...

After much deliberation, we've decided we have the about the most hilarious apartment in the world.

It's not that we, the inhabitants, are comics all the time. We're just pretty sure the average person does not manage to get themselves into some of the situations, with some of the reactions that we (and our visitors) do.

So enjoy, and maybe come visit.